We're All Going Mad
by VoteSaxon45
Summary: John Hart joins the Torchwood team, bringing tensions and troubles along the way. Ever since he arrives, Ianto begins hearing a strange drumming noise in his head that doesn't quite go away. The Doctor gets involved and tries to sort things out, but can he? M/M content.
1. Chapter 1

Jack slid up to Gwen and snatched her hands, leading her in a clumsy waltz before spinning her off into one of the tables. "Ow! Jack!" she protested although she was giggling. Jack put his hands up and laughed. "What? The music's good, and I need a little dancing practice!" he yelled over the energetic music from the 80's. Ianto walked in, examining something on a clipboard and was surprised by Jack snatching the clipboard from him, tossing it to Gwen, and leading Ianto in a foxtrot. Ianto laughed and shook his head. "Jack, what're you doing?" he implored. Jack was about to reply when Owen stormed in and sighed loudly. "You're bollocks, all three o' you." he groaned. Jack swung Ianto away and danced over to Owen, who dodged under Jack's outstretched arms. "You're not doin' shit with me, mate. Go off and dance with Ianto. He's probably enjoyin' it." he smirked. Jack frowned mockingly and instead coaxed Tosh from her office chair and led her into a samba. "Oh, come on you lot! Can't you at least join me in a little dance?" he begged. Ianto smiled. "I wasn't protesting, sir." he mumbled. Jack pointed an accusing finger at him. "Hey, I told you to drop the 'sir'."

"What're you gonna do about it?"

"Well I might just have to discipline you." Jack said, swanning over to Ianto and taking his hands seductively. Owen rolled his eyes, disgusted. "Get a room, Romeo and Juliet." he growled. Jack laughed and Ianto broke away, blushing, and retrieved his clipboard. "We got some readings off of the Rift a few minutes ago. Southern Cardiff."

"What happened?" Jack wondered, taking the board from Ianto. Gwen sidled up to him, peering at the papers on Ianto's clipboard. "We dunno, just detected a spike in Rift energy about fifteen minutes ago, it looks like. Are we going to check it out?" she asked, tucking a strand of her black hair behind her ear. Jack crossed his arms and nodded. "Yeah. You, Ianto, and me will go for a looksie and Tosh and Owen will stay here and keep an eye on things." he commanded. Tosh looked up from her computer screen and Owen stopped in the middle of slipping on his lab coat. "You're shitting me. Are you serious? You're gonna go swannin' off to investigate some cool alien thing, and I'm stuck here with _Tosh_? No offense, Tosh."

"None taken."

"Thanks. Well, Jack?" Owen demanded with hostility. Jack shrugged and retrieved his famous blue coat. "Sorry pal; we need someone to keep an eye on Janet. She's been acting up lately." he explained unsympathetically. "Oh, fuck off." Owen growled, stalking off to the med bay. Jack smiled to himself and linked his arm with Ianto and Gwen's, striding out of the door. They locked up the Tourist Center behind them and climbed into the Torchwood van. Ianto slipped into the driver's seat and revved the engines. "Where to?" he asked, looking back at Gwen in the backseat. She checked the readings again. "Southern Cardiff."

"This the place?" Jack asked, checking his Vortex Manipulator. Ianto and Gwen both nodded and Jack stuck his hands in his pockets. "It isn't much. Just a local strip club." the welshman observed. Jack looked up at the neon sign with a dreamy smile. "Well, I love the odd case with a strip club involved." he admitted. Ianto frowned just as Gwen snickered to herself. "Of course you do." she sighed. They pushed through the doors and found themselves a shock waiting on the other side. There was no one in the bar except a crying, dancing stripper and an old and commonly hated face amongst the Torchwood team: Captain John Hart. He sat in front of the poor girl, sucking down a bottle of vodka and laughing. Realizing the trio had entered, he turned toward them and laughed, then gestured at the stripper. "This planet, you've gotta love it. I mean, women that dance for you and take their clothes off for _free_? I mean I suppose the odd tenner wouldn't hurt them, but really, who has the time?" he shrugged. Jack grimaced and looked his old boyfriend up and down. "You, apparently." he observed. John smirked and gestured for the stripper to leave, then stood and put his fists on his hips, looking round at the three. "I see you've brought ol' Eye Candy and Freckle Face here. Where's the rest of the team? You know, the guy that looks like an ape and the pretty Japanese girl." he implored, making a disappointed face. Ianto brought his gun out and cocked it, pointing the muzzle at John's face. "What the hell do you want?" he demanded angrily. Jack gently lowered Ianto's gun and regarded John with curiosity. "Actually that's a good question. Why are you here? I told you to go away a _long_ time ago."

"Seems like ages, doesn't it?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Oh don't tell me you haven't gone swanning off with your famous Doctor again! Watch out ladies, he does love a man in a tight suit." John announced. Gwen looked up at Jack curiously and Ianto self-consciously straightened his suit. "Oh, _I_ see. Tell me, Jack. Do you feel about Eye Candy the same way Eye Candy feels about you?" John mocked. Jack's face turned red and he gritted his teeth. "What. Do. You. Want."

"I just need some tender love and care."

"Bullshit."

"Oh, my dearest Jack. You've always seen right through me, haven't you? Though it does look like a fooled you a bit with the trick involving those bombs. That _was_ good, wasn't it?"

"Unless you start answering my questions I think I'll let Ianto practice with that gun of his."

"Oh, alright! I need something from you, Jack."

"What do you want."

"One of your little crewmates. That alright? One in particular, actually. Perfect for the task I have planned. Oh, don't worry, I'll return your little play-toy."

"No."

"Don't be so quick to refuse! See, I've got this handy little device called a Vortex Manipulator that can do all sorts of cool things. And, I've heard of this little device called an 'Osterhagen Key'. I don't know, but I _think_ I can activate those nuclear bombs from here and blow the Earth sky-high." John threatened slyly. Jack paled but his color returned, and he was redder than anyone had ever seen him. "Go get someone else. I am _not_ sacrificing one of my crew for _you_." he hissed. John made a face at Ianto. "God, you're boyfriend isn't easy, is he? I remember the days when this wouldn't have been a problem. He was _very_ easy when _I_ was dating him. Very, _very_ easy." he winked. Ianto narrowed his eyes in anger and Jack puffed out his chest indignantly. "I'm not his boyfriend."

"No? Then what are you?"

"That doesn't matter. What _does_ matter is getting you off of this planet. Leave _now_, before I do something I'll regret." Jack growled. John sighed and shrugged. "Very well. I'll get good money for the world's radioactive, charred remains from a nice family I know. Slitheen, I think they're called. They've been trying to sell this hunk of rock for ages. It's just a few buttons." whispered John cunningly. Jack finally let out his breath, feeling defeated. "Fine, fine! Who do you want?" he demanded, still angry. John pretended to think for a moment before grinning wickedly. "I need Eye Candy."

Jack stared at John with fury in his eyes as Ianto paled. "No." Jack and Gwen both insisted at the same time. John made a sympathetic face. "_Pop_ _goes the planet!_" he sang, making explosion motions with his hands. Jack looked as if he was about to sock the man right in the jaw, but Ianto put an assuring hand on the man's chest and stepped forward. "No, Jack. It's fine. I'll go with him." he said with a wary look at John, who clasped his hands together and smiled broadly. "See, here we go! There's a good lad, then. See, Jack, this one can take care of himself, can't he?" he praised. Ianto grimaced and Jack grabbed his arm before he could go over to John. "Are you sure? This bastard's probably going to put a move on you."

"I'll be fine Jack; I can take care of myself. Anyway, I've got a gun and at the moment I'm a bit trigger-happy."

"Are you? Well we might have to experiment with that when you get back - "

"Jack, we don't want to arouse him."

"Yeah. Right. And you're sure you want to do this?"

"As long as he doesn't turn the planet into green glowing space-muck I'll do anything he wants."

"Oh _anything_, is it? I might have to take you up on that offer there, Eye-Candy."

"Shut the _fuck_ up, you bastard, and don't you _dare_ lay a fucking _finger_ on Ianto!"

"Oh I love the Welsh. So... sassy! But this one you've got here Jack... she's a bit of a pottymouth, don't you agree? Might have to clean this one up a bit."

"Shut up John. Ianto, be careful." Jack said with tenderness before turning to John. "If he comes back to me injured in any way, _any way at all_, I will personally put a bullet through your brain." he hissed. John smirked and put his hands up as if in surrender. "Don't worry, I won't hurt your little plaything. Wouldn't want to get the kiddie a broken toy, now would we?" John retorted spitefully. Jack held himself back from shooting the man anyway and let Ianto go, but before he joined John, the welshman stepped back to Jack and gave him a long, passionate kiss before standing beside John, who gasped, impressed. "_Whoo_, that was a good one! You'll have to teach me how to captivate his attention like you do. Maybe we can practice together, eh Eye Candy?" he said, wiping imaginary sweat from his forehead. Ianto grimaced and nodded goodbye to Gwen, who nodded back, glaring at John warily. "Alright then buddy-boy. Let's get going. Just grab onto my wrist-strap here and off we fly. Up, up, and away!" he shouted dully as he slapped a few buttons on his Vortex Manipulator and they disappeared in a flash of baby blue light. Jack looked back at Gwen, who returned the look with uncertainty and considerable worry. "D'you think he'll be alright?" she wondered softly. Jack checked his revolver to make sure there was a sufficient amount of bullets in the chamber. "He better be."

The trip was bumpy and painful, and when the two men arrived at their destination, they both exclaimed with discomfort. "Ah, what the hell is that thing?" Ianto demanded, referencing the wrist-strap John Hart wore. He grimaced and looked at it himself, shrugging. "Vortex Manipulator. Jack's got one, and he's so _very_ proud of it being bigger than mine but trust me, this one lasts much longer and has better overall performance."

"And why exactly should I trust you?"

"Well, you shouldn't. But I didn't get my information off of your Internet, so I think we're okay in that area." John retorted, cracking his neck. Ianto looked at how exposed he was and wondered why he wasn't the least bit worried Ianto would divert and kill him. "Oh, that's simple enough! Let's see... oh, where do I start? Number one: you don't know how to operate my Vortex Manipulator, so if I'm dead you've got no way to get back to Jack. Number two: even if you _did_ know how to operate it, the thing reacts to my vitals. If I'm dead, it automatically triggers the nukes. Your whole planet goes ka-boom."

"What if you're killed in the line of duty?"

"Well you'd better protect me, then." John raised his eyebrows seductively, but Ianto ignored the inference and only rolled his eyes. "Where are we?" he wondered, straightening his tie. John looked around and scowled at his wrist-strap. "A couple fucking miles off, that's where we are. Damn thing, can't even get us to the right coordinates." he yelled at the smoking Vortex Manipulator. Ianto sighed with frustration and put a hand on his hip. "Well what're we gonna do? Why can't we just use it again to get us to the _right_ coordinates?"

"Well because it's shorted out. If you want to, by all means, let's. But we might end up in Barcelona. Not the city, mind you - the _planet_. But I heard it's lovely this time of year, and I really wouldn't mind a vacation. Been awful busy lately."

"We'd better start walking then."

"Party-pooper."

"Which direction?"

"Three miles due East." John replied. Ianto nodded at the Vortex Manipulator. "So, that thing's completely useless then? We can't use it for _anything_?"

"Unless you want to accidentally blow up _several_ planets - not just your own - then no."

"Good. Okay. Well, let's go."

"'Good'? What're you smoking, mate?"

"Just trying to _lighten_ the situation."

"Well you're doing a shitty job."

Ianto frowned at the ground and then began walking in the direction he was supposed to go. John caught up with him shortly and looked at him unnervingly, like an animal eyeing its prey. "You're a fit fellow, then."

"Sort of have to be, with this job."

"Oh, yes. You work in... what was it again? Naughty Nuns? Oh no, that was a different team. So you're..."

"Torchwood. Torchwood."

"That's a rubbish name, then."

"Oi!"

"No, really, who the hell thought of 'Torchwood'?"

"Queen Victoria, in 1879."

"That explains a lot." John raised his eyebrows and Ianto scowled at him. "How much farther have we got to go?" he implored impatiently. John laughed. "What, getting tired of me already? Well, I'll tell you a secret, Eye Candy. We've not even reached our destination yet."

"My _name_ is Ianto. Not Eye Candy. Ianto. Ianto Jones."

"So I can't call you Eye Candy? Oh, that's tragic, innit?" John whined. Ianto sighed and closed his eyes, praying to any god that might hear him to be able to withstand John for the remainder of the expedition.


	2. Chapter 2

"You did _what_?" Owen demanded hotly. Jack put a hand to his temple and tried to reason with him. "I _had_ to! He threatened to nuke the planet."

"Well he's gonna need a helluva bigger microwave, mate."

"No, Owen, with _nuclear warheads_."

"No shit, Captain Obvious. I still don't think you should've let the bastard take 'im!"

"Owen, he didn't have a choice. I hate John Hart as much as the next guy, but this once, we have to do what he wants. It's either Ianto or the world."

"How about both? Is that fucking okay?"

Tosh tried to put a comforting hand on Owen's shoulder, but he threw it off, pissed at Jack and Gwen. "What the hell were you _thinking_?" he shouted angrily. Jack stood, putting his hands up. "Listen, right now is not the right time to be fighting amongst each other. We need to get the readings from the exact place Hart activated the Vortex Manipulator and see if we can reverse it and surprise him." he commanded. Owen seemed to calm down as he thought out Jack's sensible procedure. "Yeah, yeah, okay. Fine. Who's first in the queue to shoot the bastard?" he asked in an innocent tone. Jack raised his hand and Owen laughed. "Oh I _knew_ it was gonna be you. I'll bet you for it. Saturday's football match with the blokes."

"Sorry, Owen. 'Old boyfriend' rules trump 'pissed off Welshman'. I'm first in line. If he somehow survives... well, I'll get a shotgun. Long story short, _I'm_ the one that gets to kill him if he does anything wrong." Jack insisted. The rest of the team looked down at their shoes with disappointment and then Jack nodded. Suddenly he also looked very disappointed. "What? What's wrong?" Tosh asked with genuine concern. Jack sighed. "I was gonna ask Ianto to go down to the vaults with me..." he mumbled. Gwen made gagging noises and Owen winced. "Oh, did you really need to tell us that? We put _people _in those cells! Not to mention, I feel bad for the poor bastard that has to _clean_ them!" he yelled. Tosh giggled quietly before replying. "That would be Ianto." she informed him. Owen's face went completely blank and the rest of the team burst out in laughter, but sobered quickly. "You - you think he'll be okay?" Tosh asked worriedly. Jack pulled her in and hugged her quickly before forcing the rest of the team to join them. "He'll be fine. Ianto's a big boy."

"Oh, _you_ would know." Gwen snickered, and they all lost it again.

Finally, they arrived at a tall, stone building buzzing with military-looking personell. "What the hell are we doing here?" Ianto demanded. John looked at the people with complete hatred. "They're the bastards that forced the Time Agency to close down. This was main HQ. My room was on the top floor, right next to Jack's. Only separated by a wall and a door. Oh, you should've seen him. Had a few tricks up his sleeve, that one. Oh, I remember this one time when he - "

"That'll be enough chat."

"What? You're afraid I'm gonna steal your precious Harkness away? Oh, he's far gotten over little old _me_. He's into _humans_ now, can you imagine it?"

"Erm, yes, I can actually."

"Oh. Right. Well I'm impressed, you've certainly caught his eye. I don't think he's ever been in a relationship where he didn't go shagging other people - or things."

"Its... it's not a relationship."

"Oh? Then I have a chance!"

"No. What the hell do you want here?"

"Well, they've still got my shit locked up there, and I need some things."

"What d'you need?"

"None of your fucking business." John spat. Ianto sighed and looked up to the top floor of the building, where a dilapidated sign hung off of the balcony, fluttering in the breeze. "That yours?" Ianto wondered. John smiled softly. "Yeah. Five-year anniversary. That was the day he left me, and the Time Agency to become a good-looking con-man on Earth." he said sadly. Ianto looked up at the banner and then at the Time Agent he was supposed to hate and felt not anger - but pity for the man. It was obvious he still had feelings for Jack, and Ianto felt bad for him that he'd been rejected by the man he claimed to love so many times. How could Jack be so angry with him? At worst, he was a pitiful sight. Ianto hated to think what John looked after a drunk shag. "So, who exactly are they and how do we get to the top floor?" he wondered. John smirked. "They're the military. Sort of like the human equivalent of Judoon."

"What?"

"Big fucking space rhinos. They're the mercenaries of the Universe."

"Oh."

"We have to get past them. I thought you'd blend in well, they all look like you. Dashing, girly, and Welsh. They know who _I_ am, I've tried to get in too many times; but they don't know you. I'll give you the contact lenses - yes, I stole them from Torchwood quite a while ago, I'm surprised you didn't notice - and tell you what I need out of it. Even better, if you make it out of there alive I'll give you a little reward ceremony." John winked. Ianto grimaced and took the contact lenses from his outstretched hands, slipping them onto his eyes. He looked John over and realized the man didn't have the laptop required. "How're you gonna contact me?" he demanded with impatience. Hart looked smug and flipped open his Vortex Manipulator. "Multi-purpose. Sort of like - "

Sensing something graphic and sexual was going to pop out of his mouth, Ianto cleared his throat then faced the building. "What do I tell them?"

"You're investigating a dead Time Agent. Captain John Hart. He died of mysterious circumstances and you need to collect circumstantial evidence."

"Got it."

"I'll see you later, Eye Candy. Well, I hope so."

"Jack'll kill you if I get hurt, you know that?"

"If he can find me." John retorted, tapping his Vortex Manipulator cunningly and disappeared in a flash of bright blue light. Ianto puffed out a breath and bravely pushed past the gate. A burly man sauntered up to him, looking over him with something that looked like repressed lust. "What's your business here?" the man demanded. Ianto cleared his throat and tried to look official. "Investigating the murder of a Captain John Hart."

"Oh, that bloke? Frankly I'm glad he's gone, he was a fucking nuisance."

"Well he's dead now, sir."

"You a cop or summat?"

"Yes, I am. I need to access his room, on the top floor. Can you get me there?"

"Well, strictly off the record, yes. But it'll cost a price."

"Sir, this is official business. I can charge you with obstruction if you don't cooperate."

"Well, seein' as I've not gotten to see an I.D., I'll say I'm most gracious."

Ianto started to sweat and blue words appeared in the bottom of his vision. _If you don't do what he says he'll report you and then you'll never get out. Just go with it._ John advised. Ianto groaned inwardly and rolled his eyes. _Don't roll your eyes at me, Eye Candy. I'm the one keeping you alive, got that?_ John demanded. "Fuck you, Hart." Ianto mumbled under his breath, just loud enough for Hart to hear but just soft enough for the large man to not. "What was that?" he demanded. Ianto smiled politely and straightened his tie. "Nothing, sir. Will I be able to access the victim's room?"

"Well, it really depends, ain't it?"

"On what?"

"I haven't seen a pretty thing like you in a while. Gotten tired of these cunts bitchin' about. None of 'em are the least attractive anymore. But you, you're fresh. Fresh meat, eh? So, how's about we take a trip into the storage facilities? I know a bunker we could do it in."

Ianto blushed and gaped like a fish out of water. _Oh, you'll be fine, Eye Candy._

"I'm not afraid of having sex with him, I'm afraid of you watching." Ianto mumbled. The burly man pretended to not hear and gingerly took his hand, leading him through a throng of smirking, snickering, cat-calling soldiers. "The name's Mitch." the manipulative guard said. "Ianto. Ianto Jones."

"Well Ianto Jones. This your first time with a man?"

"I - erm..."

_Lying's a sin, Eye Candy._

"And you would know."

"What's that?"

"Nothing."

"Don't worry. I'll be gentle." Mitch smirked. Ianto could almost hear Hart's smug chuckles as they entered the bunker. "You better not watch this, you bastard." Ianto threatened. _Oh but how could I resist? It's about time I see what quality of merchandise Jack is swooning over._ Hart replied. Ianto growled as Mitch pushed him onto the bed and began undoing the buttons on his trousers, licking his lips hungrily.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hi, y'all. Sorry I haven't been posting lately but y'know High School is bollocks. Anyways, here's Chapter 3, tell me what you think!

A flash of blue light revealed John Hart materializing in the middle of the Hub. "Right. Hello, you lot." he said to the team. Jack instantaneously whipped out his revolver and held the barrel to John's forehead, hissing. "Where the hell is Ianto?" he demanded with hostility. Hart held his hands above his head as he heard the rapid _clicks_ of the rest of the Torchwood team cocking their guns and doing as Jack did. "You really like that delicious little pastry, don't you? Don't worry, he's fine. Might be a little battered, that bloke looked _big_." he laughed. Jack pressed the gun between the Time Agent's eyes. "You left him? You left him in a fight with a bastard that's bigger than he is?"

"Oh, don't worry. I didn't leave him in a _fight_. Well, I've heard the terminology 'sword-fighting' used for the activity they're currently engaging in, but I dunno if you'd actually call that a _fight_."

"What the hell are you on about?" Jack spat, a hint of panic creeping into his voice. "Oh, I see. You don't want to share your toys with other kiddies, do you? Well, it really can't be helped. I would've helped him out if I could. Hell, we would've had a threesome! But I was in this bar, see, in the Crethane Peninsula, watching the whole damn thing."

"How?"

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed the video-camera contact lenses missing?"

"You bastard."

"I know, I know. I've had enough boyfriends and girlfriends and... I don't know what exactly to call them, but they're something along those lines. Pity I didn't even get the name of their species, but it never would've worked, really."

"I'm going to put a fucking bullet through your head right _here and now_, Hart!"

"Well isn't that unfortunate, because I'm his only ticket out. My Vortex Manipulator is fully functional, unlike your piece of shit. Oh, and don't give me that 'a Time Lord shorted it out with his sonic screwdriver' bullshit. Time Lords are _extinct_."

"No. There's one left."

"Fuck that."

"It's true. I've been with him."

"Who _haven't_ you been with?"

"Not like that!"

"Jack, back on track." Gwen said, nudging him. He glanced back at her and nodded. "Right, yeah. Where's Ianto!"

"Sorry mate, that's confidential. See, he's my ticket to life."

"You get the hell out of here before I pull the trigger and bring him back."

John smiled and slapped his Vortex Manipulator, sending him into another bar on another planet, where he checked up on Ianto and the other guy, Mitch. _How's everything going up?_

_How's everything going up?_ Ianto saw Hart's question flash in the corner of his eyesight just as Mitch was finishing up with him. He grimaced at the semen soaking into the bed and quickly pulled on his trousers, looking himself over in a mirror. _Terrible, thanks._ he mouthed so John could tell what he said using the lip-reading technology. _It can't be that bad. He seems like an able-bodied fellow._

_Able-bodied my ass._

_It appears so._

"What're you prattlin' to yourself about?" Mitch called from the other side of the bed, where he was dressing himself. "Nothing. Can we please get down to business now?" he begged. Mitch smirked to himself. "Yeah, yeah, fine. Tell you what, you sure don't seem like it was your first time."

"Top floor." Ianto said, walking out of the bunker just ahead of the man. He felt Mitch's peircing gaze on his bum and walked faster, approaching the lift. "Well? You gonna answer me, sweetheart?" the big man said, cornering him in the lift. Ianto cleared his throat and tried to block out the smell of booze emanating from the man in waves. "No, actually."

_Bad choice, Eye Candy._

"Shut up."

"What the hell did you say to me?"

"I said I'm not going to answer your question. Now if you'd kindly back the fuck off; you reek."

Mitch stumbled back, obviously not used to being talked to that way, and Ianto stared ahead, indifferent to his indignant growls. "Is that right? Well you've just jumped into a big pile of shit, sweetheart."

"Ianto. My name is Ianto, if your dull mind can manage it."

_Best not push him any further. He looks about ready to pound you._

"Already did. Now if you don't shut your bloody face I'll cripple you."

_Sounds good to me._

"Fuck off, you bastard." Ianto spat. Mitch looked at him in bewilderment, as Ianto had not taken the precautions of talking quietly anymore. "Tell you what, I'm glad we got the updated lenses. It would look odd talking into mirrors." Ianto sighed. Mitch's face turned purple and he clenched his meaty fists, taking a swing at Ianto, who aptly dodged and rammed his elbow into the small of the man's back, then gripped the lapels of his soiled uniform and slammed their heads together. Ianto remained fully-functional, but the blows he delivered to the burly man reduced him to a pile of sweat and stink heaped on the floor of the lift. When it arrived at the top floor, the suave man stepped over the unconscious and looked around the hallways that stretched out on either sides of him. "Where to now?"

_Left corridor, second right._

Ianto followed the directions and entered the messy, dusty room that reeked of drink, drugs, sex, and rotting flesh. "What the hell happened in here?" Ianto said, pinching his nose closed. _You really don't wanna know, but Jack might have an idea._ John replied. Ianto rolled his eyes and combed through the mess, making sure to not touch anything suspicious. "What d'you need?"

_The picnic blanket in the corner, the two guns on the mantel, the box labeled 'miscellaneous' - DON'T LOOK INSIDE - and the porcelain cat on the dresser._

"An odd assortment of items, innit?" Ianto inquired curiously as he gathered up the items requested. _Ooh wait, also the little velvet box by the bed._ John instructed. When Ianto had everything else in a large rubbish bag in his arms he stepped over the clothes, bottles, something that looked suspiciously like a human hand, and sex toys to get to the bedstand, from which he scooped up a little red velvet box that looked like it would regularly contain an engagement ring. He peered at it for a moment before slipping it into the rubbish bag and making his way out of the room. Ianto dumped the bag beside the lift and backtracked to the door directly next to John's; a door marked 'J. Harkness'. _You don't wanna go in there._

"Don't I?"

_No._

"It doesn't seem like you've got a choice in the matter, do you?"

_Don't fucking go inside!_

Ianto ignored his orders and pushed open the rotting wooden door to find a neatly organized room exactly the opposite of Hart's, although there were a few half-drunk bottles of booze laying about. The bed was made, the carpets vacuumed, everything was in pristine condition, except for the dresser, which was cluttered with cards and plates of long-since-rotted food. He pushed the rubbish aside and inspected a framed photograph of a younger-looking Jack and a younger-looking John, holding each other and smiling playfully. On the mirror there was an assortment of photographs of the two together. One was a photo taken when they were obviously drunk and Jack was bent down, pretending to suck Hart's cock. Most of the photos were similar to that one, but there were some with Jack and women, and Jack and aliens. One in particular sparked Ianto's interest. He pulled the picture off of the mirror and smiled softly. It showed Jack dancing with a young, blonde woman in a Union Jack t-shirt. They were both laughing. This was the happiest Ianto had ever seen Jack. He plucked off another picture that had been next to the one with the blonde, where Jack was dancing with a middle-aged man dressed in a leather Jacket and a purple shirt. Another photo was removed, this one showing Jack laughing with a tall, young man in a brown pinstripe suit, whose hair was lush and sticking up all over the place. All three pictures showed Jack in complete bliss, happier than he knew Jack could be. He slipped the photographs into his suit pocket and jogged out to the lift, hauling the bag that Hart had requested onto his back and clicking the button for the lower floor. Mitch was still sprawled out on the floor, just waking, but with a swift kick to his temple he was immediately reduced unconscious again. "Who were those people? The two men and the girl."

_I don't know._

"What d'you mean you 'don't know'?"

_I have no idea who they are. All I know is that he's never been that happy with me._

"Same here. I'm gonna ask him."

_Don't._

"Why's that, then?"

_He's touchy about them. Very._

"He'll tell me."

_Like he tells you everything._

"I know he doesn't tell me anything, but I'll badger him until he relents."

_That's a surprisingly good idea, Eye Candy._

"Ianto. My name is Ianto."

_Yes, I know that._

"So stop calling me Eye Candy."

_Tough._

He was outside the building by now, and looking around fervently for Hart. "Where the hell are you?"

_Yeah, sorry, just had something cum up._

"Now's not the time for jokes, Hart. Get me out. _Now_."

_What, with my trousers down?_

"Well fucking get them on and get over here!"

_Pushy, pushy. _Hart replied. Suddenly he appeared before Ianto, bathed in baby blue light and grinning. "Eye Candy! So glad you're okay. Popped by the Hub and Jack seems a little on-edge." he said mockingly. Ianto growled and traveled with Hart through the Vortex, arriving at the Hub in a matter of seconds. Jack immediately picked Ianto up in his burly arms and nearly squeezed the life out of him, joined by the rest of the Torchwood team. "Guys..." he squeaked. They immediately released him and he brushed himself off, straightening his wrinkled suit. "It's not like I was gone for long." Ianto laughed. Jack cuffed himover the head. "You were gone for _three months_!" he shouted, his voice trembling with emotion. Ianto simply stood there looking shocked and pissed off as Owen and Gwen pressed the barrels of their guns to John Hart's forehead. "What've you done with him, you bastard?" Gwen demanded. John winced mockingly. "Oh that's rude, isn't it? We really _must_ work on your pottymouth." he said flirtatiously, raising an eyebrow. Gwen socked the irritating man on the jaw, sending him toppling to the floor. Owen restrained her from beating him to a bloody pulp as Ianto advanced on him, fuming. "What the hell? _Three months, _Hart! I've been there _three months_?" he demanded. Hart wiped the blood from his split lip off of his chin and propped himself on an elbow, looking up at Ianto and the red-faced Jack Harkness, who whipped out his gun. "If you don't answer in three seconds I'm pulling the trigger!" he shouted. To his surprise, Ianto gently pried the gun from his hands and tossed it to the floor behind them. "Don't kill him! If you kill him, it automatically sets off the nuclear bombs."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"His Vortex Manipulator keeps track of his vitals. If he dies, it automatically triggers the bombs."

"Is this true?" Jack turned on John Hart. The man grimaced and nodded. "Yep. Kill me, the planet goes bye-bye." he informed everyone. Owen was breathing heavily and looked as if he was about to throttle the man, but a gentle touch from Tosh somehow calmed him. "Oh, and the pretty Japanese girl! It's been ages since I've seen you, hasn't it sweetheart?"

"Piss off, Hart!"

"That wasn't what you said the first time we met."

"I - I didn't say anything like what you're thinking!"

"But you were thinking it. I'm good at reading minds." John winked to Toshiko's disgust. "Disable the bomb system, Hart!" Jack hissed, bringing them back on topic. He laughed. "Oh, it's not gonna be that easy to get me defenseless. Right now I'm in a room surrounded by trigger-happy kiddos that wanna kill me; I won't be so quick to disable my only guarantee of getting out of here alive. Also, I brought you some things." Hart struggled to his feet and snatched the bag of things from his room from Ianto, opening it and peering inside before glaring at the other members of the team. "Can I get a moment alone with ol' Cap here?" he commanded. At Jack's nod, they all filed out through the door and John pulled out the dusty picnic blanket and tossed it to Jack. "D'you remember our first date? With the moons in the sky and the warm glow of the sea. Jack, it was so beautiful. If I recall correctly, that was our first shag." he reminisced. Jack stared at the cloth for a while before Hart tugged out the porcelain cat. "And this was the first gift you ever gave me." He passed the gift to Jack, who stroked the cat absentmindedly. "Is this trip down memory lane going somewhere?" he demanded, trying to sound impatient. Hart smirked and took out the small box labeled 'miscellaneous', grinning wickedly. "D'you recall this little box? The little box labeled 'miscellaneous'. Oh, the fun we had with the contents inside this box." he said. Jack stepped forward and snatched the box out of his ex's hands, ripping it open and laughing at the things inside. He pulled out a black leather thong and examined it. "Is this the - ?"

"Yep."

He pulled out a various number of other sex toys, chuckling at each one. "You're kidding me. You saved this?"

"I'm more sentimental than you thought."

"I'll admit you've taken me by surprise."

John laughed and then pulled out one of the last items in the bag; a small, red velvet box. Jack looked at the box with unceartainty and suspicion as Hart stroked it and then tossed it to him. He nodded at Jack, who then opened the box to reveal an engagement ring buried cozily inside and gasped. "When..."

"I bought it a few weeks before you left."

"And you were gonna..."

"On our five-year anniversary. When you slipped away..."

"I - I had no idea. I really didn't, John."

"Ianto... he went into your old room. On your mirror, he found pictures... of a girl and two men. Who were they?"

"No one."

"They sure as hell were someone, Jack. I've never seen you like that."

"Old friends. I haven't seen them in what seems like forever."

"Who?"

"Rose and the Doctor."

"And what happened to them?"

"Did Ianto take those pictures?"

"Yeah. Jack, what happened to Rose and the Doctor?"

"I'll have to go get them, I suppose." Jack sighed, ignoring his ex's question. He turned away and started shuffling to the door but Hart grabbed his shoulder, whirling him around impatiently. "What happened to them, Jack?" he interrogated. His ex only stared at him with big, sad blue eyes before he broke away. "I'm going to go get lunch with everyone else. D'you wanna come?" he asked, a bit shyly. Hart smirked. "They all wanna kill me."

"They won't."

A/N: There's Chapter 3! I hope you all enjoyed, and thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following! You've no idea how great that is for me, so thank you all so much! Per usual, I would love it if you posted questions, comments, or constructive criticism on my reviews because I love receiving that sorta stuff! Ai'ight, I wuv you guys, and I'll post more as soon as I can!


	4. Chapter 4

"You're shitting me!" Owen laughed, downing a beer. Gwen cackled and nodded and the entire Torchwood team burst out in laughter. Jack led John Hart into the little cafe and slipped into a seat beside Ianto, putting a calming hand on the man's thigh as John sat nervously next to Jack. The entire table quieted, staring daggers at John and Jack. "What the hell is he here for?" Gwen demanded with hostility. Jack looked at each of them with an admonishing gaze. "Listen, you all. He doesn't mean us any harm. I'm pissed, too, but Ianto's back safe and unharmed and I'm sure the three month incident was simply a malfunction or an accident." Jack convinced them, squeezing John's leg with an unspoken warning. "He's just gonna have lunch with us and then he's _leaving_." With a pointed glare at John, Jack nodded slowly and John smiled anxiously. "Yes. I'll be out faster than Jack at a one-night-stand." he joked. Jack squeezed his leg under the table tighter, making him wince. A waitress approached the table, armed and ready with her notebook, and smiled at the six people seated in front of her, then fixed on Jack. "Hello, love. What can I get for all of you?"

He glanced at his menu, as did everyone else except Owen, who only glared heatedly at John. "I'll just have the fish and chips." Gwen ordered.

"I'll have the same, please." agreed Ianto.

"A salad." Tosh smiled politely up at the waitress.

"Just a steak for me and my friend here." said Jack, nodding at John.

"I won't be able to keep anything down. You make me sick." Owen spat at John. The waitress looked between the two awkwardly and then shuffled away, looking flustered. Jack glared at Owen who simply shrugged. "I wasn't brought up to lie, mate."

"Well he might appreciate it if you told the truth a little quieter."

"Right now I don't give a shit about his opinion."

"_I_ do, so button it." Jack retorted. John smiled quietly to himself at Jack's defensiveness of him. Their food arrived and they sat in an awkward silence while they ate.

Hart pushed Jack up against the wall and kissed him, ripping off his clothes hungrily. Jack felt he should have protested, told him their days were over, but he couldn't formulate the words. It was either he couldn't tear his mouth from Hart's or he didn't _want _to tell him. It was so sweet, so wonderfully delicious. All at once, his trousers were down and Hart entered him passionately, leaving them both gasping. "Jack…" Hart moaned. Jack gripped the man's hips, begging him to go faster, harder, more. John Hart readily obliged and sooner than later they were both yowling with pleasure. Then he woke up. Covered in a sheen of sweat and panting, he sat up and looked around the tiny compartment that served as his little room, trying to shake the memories of their past relationship out of his head. For some reason, he'd dismissed the others early - including Ianto - and let Hart stay the night at the Hub. Jack tried to go back to sleep, but images of himself and Hart violated his mind, so he opened the hatch above his head and climbed out of his sleeping compartment, slipping on a shirt before he made his way to the vaults. It was there that he made Hart sleep, in a cell next to Janet - his favorite Weevil - on the rough stone bench. He seemed asleep, but instantly woke when Jack entered the room and leaned against the wall, his arms crossed and looking at Hart with his cold, blue eyes. John slowly sat up and rubbed his head, then glared at Jack. "I appreciate the hospitality, but I've got a killer headache." he complained. Harkness didn't move and John tried again, less subtle this time. "Listen, I brought your precious Ianto back safely, I've not done any harm to you or your crew, so why don't you just let me go?"

"Because you're dangerous."

"I did go through rehab, mind you."

"And you're not doing a very good job at keeping clean."

"Old habits die hard. You know that as well as I do."

"Why did you bring back that shit? What was the point?"

"Good memories. And, you know, I want to join Torchwood."

"No."

"Isn't that what you first told your friend Ianto? What do I have to do? Catch a pterodactyl with you, like he did? Because that shouldn't be a problem."

"You need to leave."

"So why are you keeping me here?"

Jack hesitated. He really had no idea why he was permitting the other man to stay.

"Why did you come and wake me, Jack?"

"It didn't seem like you were sleeping."

"I've learned to sleep with one eye open. Too many exes, too many enemies, too many potato guns."

Jack chuckled softly. "I remember the potato gun." he murmured. Hart grinned and laughed, but they both sobered quickly. "I had a dream."

"Did you?"

"About you and me."

"Oh."

"But that's strange, Hart. I've gotten over you. I've moved on. And then you have to swan in and bring it all back."

"And what exactly am I bringing back?"

"My longing. The craving for you."

"Feeling like a midnight snack, are you?" Hart smirked. Jack scowled, but he couldn't hide the fact that yes, he was. John could see it in his eyes, how badly he wanted it. "We were _stellar_." he reminded Jack. He closed his eyes and laid his head against the wall. "I know." he whispered. John abruptly stood and pushed his fingers through the little air-holes in the plastic wall of his cell, pressing himself against it and getting as close as he could to Jack without seeming desperate. "I've missed that coat, you know." he mumbled flirtatiously. Jack smiled against his will and looked John over, realizing that the other man's infamous coat was missing. "And where's yours?" he wondered. John rolled his eyes. "Eye Candy thought I was rigged so he confiscated my wrist-strap and my coat. Barely left me with any clothes on. Though I did enjoy that quite thorough pat-down. Hands like a baby's bottom, that Eye Candy of yours."

"Is that right?"

"You should know."

"I guess I should."

"How've you been?"

Jack hesitated, caught off-guard by the tender question. "I... fine. I've been fine."

"How've you _really_ been? None of your team are here, you don't have to go round acting all 'macho man' on me."

"Just barely getting by."

"I know." John said quietly. Jack sidled up to the thick plastic door of John's cell, stroking his fingers absentmindedly. "So. Did you wake me up for a little chat or did you want something from me?" John inferred. Jack looked deep into his eyes and didn't hold back the longing. "I want _you_."

"Feeling's mutual."

"It's been too long."

"We were _fantastic_."

"Oh, yeah."

"Now, give me one answer. Is Eye Candy as ingenious as we are?"

"Well, he's not that inventive. When I say 'not that inventive', I mean he has his moments, but I'm usually the one doing the creative thinking."

"Humans are dull, aren't they?"

"John... I hope you still know that both of us are human."

"You know what I mean. _Twenty-first century humans._"

"Yeah."

"I love you." Hart blurted. Jack looked down at his boots, his heart pounding. "I know." he breathed. Suddenly, it was all too much. He hurriedly unlocked the door of John Hart's cell and dove inside, kissing the man hungrily and violently clawing at his clothes. The two attacked each other in the throes of passion. They soon caved in to rough and _amazing_ sex, not knowing they were being watched.

Ianto quietly crept out of the hot house as Jack left to go to bed and logged in to the computer, switching on the CCTV monitors in Jack's compartment and Hart's cell. They both lay still and breathed deeply. Ianto assumed they were both sleeping, until Jack began moaning with pleasure and thrashing about, then he jerked awake, panting and sweating. He sat there for a few moments and then climbed out of his bedroom, much to Ianto's despair. The teaboy dove behind some heavy machinery and waited until Jack's heavy footsteps faded and then he resurfaced, peering about and making sure Jack was gone before hurrying to the CCTV again and switching to view the vaults, which Jack sauntered into. John woke and they had a tender conversation that Ianto couldn't hear. He cursed CCTV for not having audio capabilities, but he was oh-so good at reading lips. _I had a dream._ Jack said to Hart. _Did you?_ he replied. Jack hesitated. _About you and me._

Ianto paled and felt an overwhelming ache in his chest, but couldn't unglue his eyes from the screen. He was captivated. _My longing. The craving for you._ Jack admitted. Ianto tried to continue watching but the screen turned fuzzy and he couldn't make out what they were saying. He smacked the computer with the palm of his hand a couple times, and then realized it wasn't the computer that was making everything blurry. He put a trembling hand to his eyes and felt hot tears spilling over. He hurriedly wiped the tears away with the sleeve of his suit and sniffed, steeling himself to continue watching. Hart had pressed himself against the thick plastic wall of his cell by now, and Jack was slowly coming closer to his ex. _I want you._ Jack said breathlessly. Ianto choked on a sob and bent over, trying to contain himself. _Don't be naiive. Jack's been through a lot. He's gotten comfortable with anyone and everyone. We're not even in a proper relationship. It's just... a thing. It's not even my business what he does with his prisoners. It's fine... he's still interested in you... _Ianto told himself. He took a deep breath and straightened, refocusing on the image before him. Hart confessed his love for Jack. The former acknowledged this and suddenly was overcome by longing. They ravaged each other, and just as the trousers came off, Ianto couldn't take any more of it. He switched the computer off and sprinted out of the Hub as quietly as humanly possible, catching a cab home and sobbing softly. He knew he shouldn't react like this... but he felt betrayed. As soon as he clambered inside his house and locked the door behind him he burst into uncontrolled tears, holding his hands to his face. _How could he do this to me? _Ianto wondered. Soon after he began crying, he stopped abruptly, straightening as a shadow fell over his face. "He doesn't even belong to me. I'm acting as if the bastard is my boyfriend." He scowled before hesitating and adding to the previous comment. "Or my bloody husband."

Ianto sighed and dragged his feet into the kitchen of his little flat. He could've afforded much better—what with how well Torchwood paid—but he chose to spend the remainder of his earnings on his family and other necessary objects. The money left over was put into a safe kept in the cupboard. The disheveled man flung open the refrigerator door and stuck his head inside, combing through his little food for something he felt like eating. Chinese, maybe. Or a nice, greasy burger. After finding nothing that suited his taste, he slammed the door shut and wandered into his closet, pulling off the formal work-wear and slipping into something more casual—jeans and a cardigan over a loose t-shirt and running shoes. He snatched the keys to his flat and his car in his pocket and slipped out of the house, driving to the nearest restaurant where he could be served Chinese.


	5. Chapter 5

The two finished and broke apart, grinning and panting. Jack pulled on his trousers and felt his stomach grumble, so he turned to John and jerked his thumb behind him. "You hungry? I think we've got some pizza left in the fridge." He offered. John smirked and stepped into his trousers, then followed Jack out of the vaults and to a small refrigerator, which was opened and frowned upon. "Ianto mustve thrown it out. Oh well. There's a nice Chinese place down the road, would you wanna go out to eat with me?"

"Us?" John snorted incredulously. "Seems suspiciously close to a _date_, Captain Jack Harkness."

"And you seem suspiciously close to getting shot."

"Oh, alright. You can drag me along." Hart huffed sarcastically. Jack grinned and sprinted into the Hub, finding a suitable shirt to use, as the one he'd had on previously had been quite soiled. He buttoned his light blue shirt and checked in on John, who had pulled on his grotesquely sullied t-shirt—he never seemed to wash it, even after all it had been through—and his favorite red coat, as well as the rest of his clothing. He sauntered out of the cell with confidence and let Jack lead him out of the Hub and into the street. "We'll walk." Jack affirmed. John smirked and looked up at the moon, which was standing high in the sky. "D'you remember Adipose Two? With the three moons hanging in the sky, and the picnic on the Birthing Grounds. It was beautiful."

Jack was silent, but John continued. "And the waves from the Lake of Doeke, lapping onto the shores. It was so peaceful and quiet, wasn't it? Well, not after the first course." he sniggered. Jack glanced at him but kept forward at a brisk pace and Hart peered at him with interest. "What's the matter, Jack?"

"It just... it just seems wrong."

"You should know."

"Wh - what?"

"Don't think I'm ignorant, Jack. I've studied up on you and your 'Doctor', for whom you left me - left the Time Agency."

"That's none of your business."

"Why's it wrong, Jack? We have such fun!"

"It... it's just wrong. I can't explain it."

"It's that Ianto bloke, isn't it?"

Jack hesitated, and Hart's fears were confirmed. "You're in love with him. You're fucking in love with that bastard."

"No... I - "

"If it's not love then what is it that's so... lovey that you can't have sex with me without feeling fucking dirty?"

Hart had stopped in his tracks, fuming, and Jack had no choice but to stop as well, only a few paces away from him. "John... I've just grown attached to these humans - "

"Your little pets?" Hart spat. "Their lifespan is no more than a _goldfish_ compared to ours! You could have me for hundreds of years, and only get him for less than a _century._"

"You don't understand! You don't _know_ them like I do!" Jack retorted hotly. John clenched his fists, ready to punch Jack right in the jaw, until a Police Constable who'd heard the ruckus wandered over. "You blokes alright? Havin' a bit of a row with your mate there?" he wondered. Hart smiled sickly sweet and wrapped an arm around Jack's waist. "No, just arguing over what position I get tonight. Top or bottom." he smirked smugly. The officer went a sort of green and nodded as he grimaced and hurried away. "Omni-phobic." Hart spat after him. Jack broke away from him and resumed walking.

Ianto pushed open the door of the little Chinese joint near the Hub and sighed, taking in the smell of Orange Chicken and other fine Chinese cuisine. He slipped into a seat and huffed at the menu as a pretty American waitress rolled over. "Heya gorgeous. What can I do ya for?" she joked, readying her pen and pad of paper for his order. He shrugged and looked up at her. "Erm... I dunno. Surprise me." he said deadpan. She smiled and hurried away, biting down on the end of her pen, as Ianto surveyed the restaurant out of boredom. He didn't pay much attention to what he was seeing until he caught a flash of red out of the corner of his eye. Images of John Hart raced through his head and he instantly re-focused on the source of the harsh color, relieved to find it was only a woman wearing a red coat. He put his hand to his head and took a deep breath, calming himself, and then looked back up when he heard an all-too familiar American accent from the other side of the restaurant. He quickly honed in on the voice and found himself staring at the back of Jack Harkness' head and the face of the hated Captain John Hart. He suddenly found himself standing, though he had no idea why, and Jack ignored the noise, though Hart spotted Ianto and grinned wickedly. "Eye Candy! So good to see you! Come on, come sit with us, would you?" he invited. Jack whirled around in his seat and the blood drained from his face, leaving him looking like a panicked corpse. "Ianto!" he yelled nervously as the man pulled up a chair to join the two. "Um... what're you doing here?"

"Just stopped in for something to eat."

"What happened to your refrigerator?"

"Nothing. Why? Don't you want me here?"

"No, no - I mean _yes_! It's great that you're here! I just... um... was taking John here out for a little Chinese before he was off."

"You mean you're letting that bastard go?"

"I'm not letting him join my team!"

John made a hurt face but Jack held up a finger, signaling for him to stow it. "Um... anyway..."

Before Jack could continue, the waitress appeared at the table carrying a steaming plate of what looked like Orange Chicken and Chop Sui. "There you go. Y'all have a nice night now, won't ya?" she smiled before rushing off to tend to the needs of the other patrons in the restaurant. Jack picked up the fork and stabbed it into a piece of chicken, shoveling it into his mouth and then tossing the fork noisily onto the plate. Ianto half-heartedly scooped the fork into his hands and gnawed on a piece of chicken, glaring at Hart. The man shrugged and made a face. "What?" he asked nonchalantly, though he could tell why Ianto was angry. "I wasn't stealing your boyfriend, if that's what you think."

"I didn't say that."

"I'm good at reading people, Eye Candy. And _you_ are an open book. Isn't he just, Jack?" John turned to Jack, wearing a sweet smile. Jack didn't reply, only stared at the plate with an empty look in his eyes. "Jack?" Ianto said, worriedly placing a hand on Jack's. He nodded and looked up happily. "Yeah! Of course. Anyway... got my boys here, maybe we can go hit the Hub before John's off?" he smirked flirtatiously. Hart smiled back and Ianto offered a weak grin. "Yeah. Sounds good, I suppose."

"D'you think Ianto will be okay?" Tosh wondered worriedly, clinging to Owen's arm as they walked down the bustling street toward a little cafe Tosh had recommended for the occasion. "This the one?" Owen asked, sounding somewhat disappointed. "You owe me a dinner." Tosh reminded him plainly. He scowled and held the door for her as she made her way inside and took a seat by the window looking out over the busy street. "I love this place." she told him. He smiled briefly, staring at her intently as she gazed out of the window at the people passing by. "Don't you ever wonder what it's like to not know?"

"Know about what?"

"Everything. Different planets, different species. Everything we know about."

Owen stared at her with more intensity, but a softer expression lurked in his gaze as he moved his hands to take Toshiko's. "Don't worry about it. The sorry bastards don't wanna know what they're missing. And, frankly, I don't want them to know, either." he said softly. Tosh glanced down at his large hands covering her smaller ones and looked back up at him with big, sparkling brown eyes and entwined her fingers with his. They sat in a moment of electric silence for a few precious moments before a waitress shuffled into their privacy. "Hullo. Can I get you two anything?" she wondered. Owen quickly snapped his hands away and cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Erm, yeah. I'll just have a coffee please. Black with sugar, love." he commanded. The girl nodded and turned to Tosh. "And for you?"

"Just some chips if you don't mind, thanks."

"That'll be right with you." The waitress hurried away and Toshiko turned back to Owen hopefully while he fiddled with the tablecloth. He shifted anxiously and cleared his throat again. "So, erm... what happened to that Eddie bloke? He seemed nice enough."

"We had a row."

"Oh. Right. D'you mind if I ask what about?"

"A bit."

"Right. Yeah, sorry. How's life?"

"I've not got much of one outside this bloody job."

Owen chuckled quietly, and Tosh beamed. He suddenly turned jokingly serious. "I still don't think you won that bet." he growled playfully. Tosh put on a stern expression. "I did, though!" she protested.

"You bet me that Jack would let John fucking Hart stay at Torchwood."

"And so he did."

"Yes, but you _meant_ stay to work here."

"I don't remember specifying what the situation was."

Owen grumbled curses to himself and followed Tosh in a burst of laughter. "We should bet more often!" Tosh chuckled. Owen shrugged. "Alright. I'll bet Ianto and Jack have an argument about this Hart bastard."

"That's quite a harsh bet, don't you think?"

"Life's a harsh bet, sweetheart." Owen retorted darkly. Tosh blushed at him as a shadow crossed over his face. "Anyway, I don't think Ianto would get angry over something as trivial as John Hart."

"I'll bet you're wrong."

"Alright. Pick the odds." she said hopefully.

"I win and we go down the pub. You win and we can go back to this shithouse." Owen joked, gesturing around him at the cafe. "Deal." Toshiko pronounced. Owen grinned and quickly got to his feet, offering an arm to Tosh. "Let's get out of this hellhole, eh?" he offered. Tosh smiled and took his arm before looking at the slowly approaching waitress, holding their food. "What about dinner?" she demanded. Owen shrugged and dragged her outside, laughing. "We've not paid!" he yelled to her.


	6. Chapter 6

"So, John. Any girlfriends? Boyfriends? A little of both? Neither?" Jack inquired. Hart leaned back in his chair nonchalantly, throwing an arm over the back and spreading his legs. "Hard to count. Well, there was this one bloke. I think he was called... Jocrassa Fel-Fotch Passameer-Day Slitheen. He was exceptionally creative; I think you would've liked him, Jack." he raised his eyebrows. Jack made an impressed face and nodded, telling Hart to go on while Ianto pouted and picked at his chicken. "Oh, and there were these twins - _lovely_ pair they were, simply stupendous. One would take the South and another the North, if you know what I mean." John winked at Ianto, who scowled. "What about you, Jack? The famous Captain Jack Harkness's gotta have _someone_ to brag about."

Ianto looked up at Jack hopefully as he thought about the question for a few moments before replying. "Well I had a one-night-stand with a Blowfish and a Zygon. Zygons are great, really. Just show 'em who you want them to be and _poof_. _Amazing_ sex with the right kind of Doctor." he sighed. Ianto could almost feel his heart shatter inside of his chest, and he caught Hart smirking as he looked upon the former's crestfallen expression. "That all? A... Blowfish and a - a Zyxon?" Ianto demanded hopefully. Jack laughed. "They're called _Zygons_, Ianto. And I could go into an account involving a Weevil in heat, but you probably don't want the details." he said with a wink at John. Ianto pretended to laugh along with the two, but he could feel the rage and heartbreak bubbling in his stomach like water boiling in a pot; threatening to bubble over and scald everyone in the vicinity. 'Everyone' translating to 'Jack Harkness and John Hart'. How could he do this? How could Jack bloody Harkness hurt Ianto like this? He found it hard to swallow his food, so he set his fork down and pushed his plate away. Jack pointed at the half-eaten meal with curiosity. "You gonna eat that?" he inquired. Ianto shook his head and both John and Jack alike dove in, sharing a fork like they were dating again. Ianto imagined how nicely his hands would fit around Hart's neck, how he could prove his strength to Jack by pushing him down and throttling him until he was blue and had no heartbeat. He was snapped out of his delicious delusions by Jack prodding him gently with the fork. Somehow, both he and Hart had stood in the seemingly split-seconds Ianto was day-dreaming and the former's Vortex Manipulator was bleeping. "We got Rift activity just a couple blocks from here. I thought it would suit to take Captain John Hart over here for a test-drive." he smirked. John snorted and raised his eyebrows while putting his hands on his hips. "You did _that_ about an hour ago." he alluded to the previous event. Jack suddenly sobered and cleared his throat, trying to hide the information from Ianto by pushing Hart out the door of the restaurant before he could elaborate or Ianto could ask more questions. Ianto followed with his head down and his hands trembling. Jack suddenly stopped, looking around with disgruntlement. "Fuck. I left the van at the Hub. We won't have time to catch whatever's slipped through the Rift in time if we go get it." he grumbled. Ianto shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded to his car parked in the lot. "I drove here. I guess we can take my car."

The bright lights overhead illuminated Tosh's lovely features. Owen slipped his arm around her waist, which seemed to startle her for a minute. He feared she would pull away, that it'd been too soon, but she recovered from the shock in a matter of seconds and leaned against him. He smiled quietly to himself and kept walking her down the street. "What d'ya say we take a couple weeks off and go to Paris, eh?" he offered. Tosh laughed lightly. "You never get a couple weeks off in Torchwood, Owen. You should know that."

"Fuck Torchwood. Let's run away together." he ordered, swinging Tosh in front of him and clutching her shoulders tightly. "Owen? What's gotten into you?" she demanded.

"I - I - "

"Are you alright? Is something the matter?"

"No, it's not alright! Toshiko Sato, I love you! There, I said it. I fucking bloody love you! Bollocks to Jack and Ianto and Gwen; they can go fuck themselves. I love you, and I want to run away with you, Toshiko." he proclaimed, loud enough to startle several passerby, a few of which thought the proclamation was sweet, the rest were offended by the language. She stared at him in stunned silence for longer than he wanted to. He was already regretting his decision of telling her his feelings. He'd never opened up to anyone like that... except Katie. She was the last one he'd been in love with, and now here came Toshiko Sato, taking her place. Owen didn't mind. He could get past Katie if Tosh would just tell him she loved him back. She was still quiet, and staring up at him with her big, warm brown eyes. "Tosh?" he asked nervously, his voice shaking. She didn't answer for a few more moments, and then grabbed the lapels of his favorite leather coat and pulled him down to her height, kissing him passionately. He flailed his arms in shock for only a second before wrapping them around her and pulling Tosh closer, sharing her body heat and kissing her back until the both of them had no breath at all. Normally, Owen would've taken this kind of kiss as an invitation to shagging, but he didn't feel the need for sexual romance with Toshiko. He just wanted to love her, and wanted her to love him back. "I love you too." she whispered breathlessly, tears shining in her eyes. Those were the eyes into which he stared deeply, seeking out her soul. He found it, and a wave of emotion finally broke the dam he had built up in his mind to block it out. So much love, and kindness... he could barely hold himself back from breaking into tears so he snatched her hand and they danced through the streets, not paying attention to the glares and stares they were recieving. They were in love.

Gwen lolled about on her couch, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about John Hart and Jack. How would he react to his ex-boyfriend's appearance? What about Ianto? Jack didn't treat Ianto nearly the way he should; he was taken for granted, used as what Owen might call a 'fuck-buddy', but she knew Ianto's true feelings, though he did a well job at concealing them. She'd always been good at reading people. The telly blared uselessly in the background and the dishwasher emitted a low hum, giving her white noise to help her think. Suddenly, Rhys came bumbling in with a couple of his mates, holding bottles of beer and cackling. When he saw Gwen, he stopped in his tracks. "Gwen? I - erm, didn't expect you in this early. Something up?" he wondered with a tangible slur to his speech. His mates pushed past him and stumbled into the kitchen, raking their grubby hands through all of the couple's food. Rhys tripped over himself trying to sit beside Gwen on the couch, but she caught him and made a face at his breath. "Oh you are _well_ hammered, innit?" she asked, not expecting an answer. "Well, I was just down the pub with mates and one thing lead to another - Gwen, you're really pretty. Your eyes are like pools of black molasses. You should never cry. Are your tears black, Gwen? D'you cry molasses?" he wondered, laughing loudly. She let out a chuckle and tutted. "You know very well I don't cry molasses. Now let's get these bastards out of here and get you into bed." she offered, helping him stand and sending him into their bedroom. She strode over to the two drunk men in the kitchen and put her hands on her hips. "Alright mates, I think it's time to leave now." she advised gently. One of them whirled toward her, aggressively waving his bottle of beer at her. "And _you _can just go fuck yourself, sweetheart." he slurred. Gwen could smell the booze and cigar smoke emanating off of him in waves from across the bar, but she didn't back down. "I really think you'll want to leave." she said one more time, a bit more firmly. He stumbled around the bar and stood at an uncomfortably close distance to her. "Oh will I?" he said aggressively. Foreseeing an attack, Gwen snatched his arm and pressed it onto his back, shoving his face against the bar top and making him grunt with pain. Soon after, the two men quickly and quietly filtered out of her flat as Rhys - still a bit wasted - stood dumbfounded in the living room, his hair wet and only wearing a pair of plaid boxers. "Wha' the hell was that?" he demanded. Gwen ran her fingers through her hair and huffed. "Bad day at work." she grumbled. Rhys snorted. "Bloody bad day then, innit?"

"A bit."

"What's this 'bad day' like then?"

"Captain John Hart."

"Who's that?"

Gwen and Rhys both took a seat on their sofa. "Jack's ex-boyfriend. The bastard's a bloody nuisance."

"How's that?"

"Tried to kill me."

"Just wait until I get my hands on that fucking bastard! He tried to _kill_ you! He'd better say his fucking prayers that I don't get a hold o' 'im!"

"I dunno if I can allow that."

"What?"

"Jack won't let anything happen to him. Jack likes John."

"Well Jack's bloody bollocks then, innit?"

"Calm down Rhys, you look like a tomato." Gwen joked, pushing him playfully. He swooned for a moment and grabbed onto Gwen for stability, pulling himself close. They were both breathing heavily in the electricity of the moment, and Gwen glanced down at Rhys' lips. "Feelin' horny tonight?"

"You've no idea."

"I've got some new techniques from Jack."

"I bloody love that man." Rhys growled, scooping Gwen off the couch and carrying her into the bedroom.

"Ianto! To your left!" Jack shouted. The Welshman whirled round to face the snarling Weevil approaching him, but Jack's warning had come too late. The thing lunged for him before he could react. Everything seemed to go in slow motion for Ianto as he could see the wild, hungry look in the creature's eyes and could smell the sewer on its body. Closer and closer. The thing's snarls and the frantic beating of his heart were the only things he could hear - until he heard the sound of his own body thudding to the ground. What? Was he dead? No... he could hear someone screaming - but not his scream. Another man's. His screaming and the tearing of flesh. The spurting of blood discoloring the pavement. "Fucking kill it!" the screaming man cried. Ianto's vision and senses were dulled, and he tried to struggle to his feet as three gunshots rang out and the bright flash of the gun being fired blinded him temporarily. The gun was dropped and Jack pushed the Weevil off of his body, on the verge of tears. "_JOHN!"_

He'd already lost a lot of blood. His face was as pale as a dead man's and he licked his lips as his eyes fluttered open and Jack cradled his head carefully, aware of the gaping wound in his neck. "_Jack..._" John rasped. Harkness put a gentle finger to John's lips, shushing him. "Don't speak. You fucking idiot." he scolded. John's eyes flicked to Ianto, who was still recovering from the blow he had been delivered. "I saved your precious Eye Candy." he stated plainly. "Don't I get something special for that?"

"_Oh yeah_, pal. But I can only give it to you if you survive."

"No better time than the present. What d'you think? Eye Candy can have some of the action too. Doggie Style or Angry Dalek?"

"Shut up. Just shut up. Save your breath, because you're gonna need it when we do Angry Dalek."

"I don't want to die with an erection, Jack."

"Well you're not gonna die, so get your hard-on all you want."

Ianto grimaced at all the sexual innuendos but kept his mouth shut. John Hart was dying. And as much as he hated admitting it, John Hart was a large part of Jack Harkness' past. "I love you, Jack." Hart hissed. "No, no, just shut up. Shut up and I'll get Owen over here. Ianto, have you commed him yet?" Jack demanded, glancing over his shoulder. The man suddenly realized his mistake and blushed, then touched the comm attached to his ear and barked commands at Owen. "Owen! Owen, we've got a problem!"

"What the hell d'you want, tea-boy?"

"Down by the Chinese restaurant we always eat at. Get here as quickly as you can!"

Owen was suddenly serious. "What's happened?" he demanded. While Ianto explained what happened, Owen mumbled something to the person he was with and started running. Ianto quickly turned back to Jack and crouched beside him. "Oh for fuck's sake, can't I at least have a proper death?" Hart moaned in response to something Jack said. He shook his head firmly. "No! You might get hurt!"

"I'm as hurt as I'm ever gonna get. C'mon! Just once?"

"I said no and I _meant it_."

"I hope you know it's a _huge _turn-on when you're serious and stubborn. C'mon, I don't want to go out like this! It's a _disgrace_!"

"Since when have you had a concept of disgrace?"

"Since I started dying. Just one time? I'm fucking dying. A dead man's last request."

Jack mulled it over for a minute while Ianto listened intently to what was going on. He had no idea what Hart wanted so badly, and no idea why Jack was refusing it. Suddenly, and with a quick glance at Ianto, he relented. "Fine, fine. But if you survive, I'm going to punch you in the throat, okay?"

"Worth it. C'mon, I don't have much time left."

Jack quickly unbuttoned Hart's trousers and leaned down to give him the last blowjob he'd ever receive. Ianto blushed furiously and looked away while Hart moaned weakly with pleasure. "That's good... oh yes... maybe I should die more often?" he rasped. Jack glared up at him. "Shu' i'." he said with a mouthful of John's cock in his mouth. Just as Jack finished, they heard the screeching of tires on pavement and the unloading of a car. Distant voices called to Ianto and Jack; the former went to lead Owen and Tosh to Hart. Jack got off of Hart and buttoned his trousers just after Toshiko appeared. As soon as she saw the sight, she recoiled, gasping, but steeled herself and ran to John's side with determination. "Oh, goody! I get the Japanese girl." Hart chuckled. She offered a small smile back and waved Owen over, whom John was obviously less pleased to see. "And the ape-man. Oh well. Slept with worse." he grumbled. Owen rolled his eyes and glared at Jack incredulously. "The man's fucking _dying_, and yet he still seems to have the ability to piss me off." he growled. Hart laughed, and then sputtered, blood flying from his mouth. As this was a bad sign, Owen hurried to work trying frantically to fix him up, but to no avail. Hart spurted more blood, gurgled, and then stopped moving completely. Jack readjusted himself anxiously, glancing from Owen to his ex. Owen put two fingers up to John's neck to observe his pulse, but there was none. "Jack..." Toshiko choked, putting a comforting hand on his arm. He brushed her off and stood, pacing angrily before turning to Ianto with an accusing finger. "'Gloves come in pairs'. That's what you said! There's another Resurrection Gauntlet out there somewhere, and I can go find it! We can bring him back permanently, I know we can!" he shouted desperately. Owen tried his hand at comforting Jack but was kicked in the gut, and Ianto was the last man standing. "Jack, I'm sorry." he said quietly, like he was calming a wild animal. "_No!_ You're the reason he's _dead_! If you hadn't been so fucking ignorant of everything around you then you could've shot the damned thing!" Jack wailed. As Ianto tried to get closer, he received a strong, disabling uppercut to the jaw and Harkness scooped up Hart's body and fled toward the location they had parked the car in one swift motion.


End file.
